


Pair of Aces

by Craftybadger1234



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Asexuality, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Relationship Discussions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 09:31:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17805491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Craftybadger1234/pseuds/Craftybadger1234
Summary: Lavender's calling it - Harry's ace and he needs to accept it. And he should date Draco.I rated this T for the light discussion of sex and a single swear word. I'm paranoid about rating and don't want a G rating to upset someone. It's all pretty innocent though. And funny. At least, I think I'm funny.





	Pair of Aces

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to CleopatraIsMyName for looking this over, especially in the middle of her own epic project! :)

Harry set the last of the lemon biscuits in their display case just as the jingling of the cafe’s bell sounded. “No spoilers! I didn’t get to finish the book last night!”

Lavender shook her head with a giggle. “Oh Harry, you know I didn’t finish it all last night! Barely got halfway through chapter eight.” She sat on an overstuffed sofa and propped her feet on the battered coffee table. 

Setting a tray of tea and pastries on the table, Harry joined her. He rested his head on her shoulder, afraid of her reaction to his news. “I broke up with Alex last night.” Six months was long for Harry, and he’d almost thought it was going to work out all right.

In the middle of her “Oh Harry!” the bell chimed again, admitting Draco. He fell into his usual armchair with a maniacal grin.

Before he could say anything, Harry covered his ears. “No spoilers! I didn’t finish it!”

Draco’s face fell into confusion. “What? How could you not finish? I was up until after two. Couldn’t put it down!” He added two spoonfuls of sugar to his tea and sipped with a contented sigh. “How far did you get?” 

“He broke up with Alex,” Lavender said, running a soothing hand down Harry’s back.

“Good riddance,” Draco muttered, mouth already full of his biscuit.

Lavender kicked him in the shin. “Draco! We’re trying to be supportive!” She reached into her bag for the sandwiches she always made for their lunches. “And here, eat something healthy before filling up on Harry’s pastries.” 

For the last year or so, since she took over managing a boutique on Diagon Alley, Lavender joined Harry in his cafe around the corner for lunch. Not long after the tradition was established, she started inviting Draco as well. He worked two doors down from Lavender in an apothecary. Since Harry didn’t officially open his doors until one o’clock each day, the timing was perfect. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday he enjoyed a quiet lunch with friends before the busy workday. Lavender made sandwiches, Harry made tea and sweets, and Draco made snide comments about the Diagon Alley shoppers.

“Nah, he’s right. Alex and I weren’t a good fit.” Although it was a close call. They enjoyed the same type of sappy movies, the same loud music, and the same spicy foods. They played Quidditch on the weekends, and talked about getting a dog. And fought about stupid things. Harry took his sandwich with a sigh and tried for a subject change. “I didn’t have time to finish reading this morning. Who’s the father of Vivienne's baby?”

“You said no - “

But Lavender interrupted Draco, “Wait, I thought Alex was out of town until Saturday? Did he come home early?”

“Er… yeah he did. And I guess I wasn’t as happy to see him as he thought I should be. So we fought and he left. And I was too keyed up to read so I went to bed and then this morning I had some baking to do. A new recipe!” He took his wand from his pocket and summoned a box from the kitchen. It landed gently in his lap. “Almond macaroons. I thought the other ones were too soggy. What do you think?”

“Ooh!” Draco said happily, taking two from the box. “I love macaroons.”

“Stop changing the subject, Harry!” She snatched the box from him and set it under the sofa. “What happened?”

Harry sighed and slumped back on the sofa. “I was in the sitting room, reading, and suddenly there he was. Full of excitement and chatter about his meetings unexpectedly ending early and then his hands were just everywhere and he’s pushing me back on the sofa, like clearly expecting… you know… _things_...”

“It doesn’t surprise me that that’s where it went wrong,” Lavender said, shaking her head.

“What?”

“Nothing. Go on.”

“Yeah so, I’m like… erm… on my knees…”

Draco faked a gagging sound. “Ew gross, what even _is_ this story?”

“... and my book is just lying there open…”

Lavender shook her head, hand over her mouth in horror. “Oh my word, Harry! Please tell me you didn’t read it!”

“... and I was so close to finding out the father of Vivienne’s baby. But you know, he’s behind me, so I can’t see him…”

“Please stop filling in these details,” Draco groaned.

“... but I figured his eyes were probably closed so I tried turning the page…”

“This story is like a train wreck.”

“... but his eyes _weren’t_ closed and… then he lost it.”

“You had that gorgeous man going at you and you wanted to _read your book_?” Lavender screeched. “What is the matter with you?!”

“I just thought - “

She groaned. “Oh Harry, I think it’s time you just admit you’re not into sex. It’s a relationship killer every single time.” She pinched off a small piece of her sandwich to eat.

“No it isn’t! And I like sex just fine, thank you very much!” Only, sometimes the book he was reading or the recipe he was researching took up all his thoughts and time. Sex was all right, just not terribly high on his list.

“Really? What about Hector?” 

Harry pursed his lips. “He and I are both bottoms so it didn’t work out.” That was the lie he was sticking with until the end of time. He knew better than to mention the gross dirty talk Hector enjoyed, and the accidental silencing charm that had sent Hector off in a strop. Harry took a big bite of his sandwich, hoping to delay further inquiry.

“And Jenny?”

“She was into weird kinky shit.” Her array of toys still made Harry shiver when he thought of it too long.

“Harry, I can assure you, playing around with a dildo isn’t weird or kinky at all.” She kicked out at Draco, who was grinning at Harry’s discomfort. “You should date Draco. He’s ace like you.”

“Hey! You can’t just out me like that!”

“Draco,” she sighed, rolling her eyes, “I can see the frayed edges of your ‘I ace everything’ t-shirt sticking out of the top of your robe.” A flick of her wand had his robes opened, proving her right.

“Fine, but that doesn’t mean I want to date Harry.”

“Why not? It’s perfect. You’re funny and gorgeous and you only want to have sex twice a year.” She smiled at Harry. “You like funny and gorgeous and you also only want to have sex twice a year.”

“For your information,” Draco said with an indignant sniff, “it’s three times a year, because I like to celebrate not having to go to school anymore on September first.”

“See Harry, that sounds perfect for you! June for his birthday, September to try kinky grown-up things not allowed at school, and Christmas.”

Draco smirked at her. “Boxing day. Christmas is too full of sweets for those kinds of activities.” He saluted with his cup of tea and took a sip.

“So that’s settled.” She swirled her wand over Draco and duplicated his shirt. She tossed the new one to Harry. “Here, you can have matching shirts.” He didn’t even try to catch it and it fell to the floor.

“I’m not wearing that! I’m not asexual.” Although, Draco had labeled himself as such and he seemed happier than Harry. At least he didn’t have a parade of dissatisfied ex-lovers dragging him down.

“Yes you are, just admit it. There’s nothing wrong with being ace. You want to hold hands with Draco and laugh at stupid customers and take apart every line of ‘Flowers for Vivienne’ to find the subtext and sleep curled up together in your big bed, chaste as babies. You want to bake for someone and he wants to eat things he didn’t have to bake. It’s a match made in heaven. Put the shirt on.”

Not waiting for him to comply, Lavender vanished the t-shirt Harry was wearing. Harry yelled, but she interrupted with, “Merlin Harry, those abs! You should let yourself go a little if you’re not fooling around anymore.” She picked the shirt up and threw it at him again. “You can thank me later.”

“I loved that shirt,” Harry grumbled as he put the t-shirt on. He was a little broader than Draco so it fit him more snugly, but it was soft and comfortable. Certainly more so than the t-shirt Lavender vanished.

“Aww, you two look adorable in matching shirts! So sweet! If only I had a camera to document the start of your relationship!”

Harry glanced at Draco, but his face was too blank to read. “We’re not in a relationship!”

“Of course you are! I’m going to go, so you can plan your first date. I want to be someone’s maid of honor when you get married.” She shouldered her bag and opened the door, making the bell jingle. “Oh, and Daniel is the father of Vivienne's baby.”

“What? No!” Harry’s face scrunched up. “Wait, how is that even - “

Lavender giggled, “Kidding, silly! Chapter eight, remember? Have fun boys!” They could hear her laughter even after the door closed behind her.

Draco moved from his armchair to the sofa next to Harry, picking up the box of macaroons from under the sofa as he did. He took a large bite of one and said, “These need more almond.”

“Can you believe her?” When Draco only shrugged, Harry continued, “Do you really only have sex three times a year?”

“No, it’s four, because Christmas to June is a long time so I go on the pull in March too. But she probably doesn’t need to know that.” He picked up another macaroon but Harry snatched it away before he could take a bite.

“You’re going to make yourself sick on these.”

“Want to go out with me?”

Harry tossed the macaroon back in the box and closed the lid. Staring at the box in his lap, he chewed at his lip. “I think so.”

Draco wrapped his sandwich in its foil and put it in the pocket of his robes. Then he shrunk the box of macaroons and put them in his other pocket. He kissed Harry on the cheek and crossed to the door. “I’m giving you twenty-four more hours, and then I'm going to talk about Vivienne whether you've finished or not. Meet me for lunch at the Leaky Cauldron tomorrow. My treat.”

“Tomorrow it is.”


End file.
